Wallow or Wait?
Finding Contentment in the Delay
Que Sera Sera
One day this will be a swing set, but not today, tomorrow, or the next day either.
My Vision
I thought it would be a wonderful memory if the swing set were up by Mother’s Day. That didn’t happen. So I “settled” on my birthday, which is this Friday. That likely isn’t happening either.
We have one hour a night reserved to put together this swing set while my MIL watches our daughter, and I really wanted it to work out. Three nights of hard teamwork for an hour and voilà. A swing set our daughter will use for years to come. What could go wrong?
What Happened
There are often two different personalities when it comes to building: the one who lays everything out, strategizes, and checks every part before starting something new, and the one who jumps right in at step one. These people often marry each other.
If you’ve been here a while, you know how much I love a well-formed, well-strategized plan…
So when I had to call customer service today to let them know one of the main beams was bent, I almost cried. One of my first thoughts was, “If all the pieces had been inspected when it arrived a week ago, this could have been rectified quickly, and the replacement part could have already been waiting for us when we returned home from our weekend trip…”
If…
Two letters that can quietly lead to discontentment and dissatisfaction.
Two letters that pull us out of reality and keep us focused on what we think should have happened or could have happened instead of what is actually happening.
Like my bent swing set beam, “if” can become a bend in reality that may not completely break us, but can still keep us from moving toward a good solution, and certainly from fulfilling the original purpose.
I had a choice tonight: wallow or wait.
And honestly, wallowing sounded pretty good.
Until I sat down in front of this swing set lying on the ground, which will prayerfully one day be 10 ft high, and took a deep, long breath.
Then I looked around.
My dog was walking around completely content with the slowness. An evening in the backyard with all his favorite people together? Best night ever.
And the longer I sat and breathed, the more the “if” started to dissipate, and acceptance settled into my soul.
Patience
A LOT of things have gone awry in the last week. From needing to take my braids out because they were too tight and left my head red, to taking my car in for inspection, only to be told I need all new tires on the car I barely even drive.
And those are just two of the many things that have transpired in the past seven days that have not been too peachy.
There have been some monumental disappointments with implications that ripple far beyond this week.
And sitting outside in that chair tonight, I was reminded that the women’s community I facilitate is focused on patience this month. Each month, we focus on an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit, and patience is our focus right now.
Wow, I thought. All of these opportunities to practice patience.
To be long-tempered instead of short-fused.
To stay quiet instead of immediately speaking.
To choose meekness over loudness.
To resist moving at the pace of frustration and urgency.
In some moments this week, I’m pleased with how I responded.
And at other times, I behaved like someone utterly distressed and absolutely failed the patience test.
But tonight, I did all I could do.
The replacement part is ordered and will be here “soon.”
So for now, I’ll patiently wait and give thanks for the things that made me smile tonight: fresh air, the slower pace, and the time spent in the backyard I prayed for and pray over, with my dog and the people I love.
As the lyrics to Que Sera Sera go:
”Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future’s not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.”
It’s not up to you, and it’s not up to me.
I’m grateful for a Heavenly Father who only allows me to see as far as He wants me to see.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” -Proverbs 16:9
Dear Lord, we ask that you order our steps this week. Guide us in the way that we should go. Allow us to be content with your pace and receptive to your grace. In your Son’s unhurried and understanding name we pray, Amen.
Wishing you peace with every pause,
Antoinetta
P.S. Starting 5/15, I’ll be pausing from posting and spending 40 days intentionally slowing down through the Contentment with Slowness devotional journey. You’re welcome to join me and the Queen Qualified community. Message me for more details.